Really tired of feeling alone, unappealing, worthless, and outcasted. I just want to be normal. I want change but it’s so far away. Even I don’t fit in with my family.
I realize that life is hard, its just a matter of who is there to help you when you need it.
So I tried this dating website to meet really cute guys…I’ve had for about 4 days and I’ve been talking to this one guy, he is kind of cute, but not my type. We’ve text each other and he’s been wanting to meet me and FaceTime, but the moment he mentions something remotely real, I try to avoid it. I thought I was ready to go out into the world and and meet people and start dating, but I can’t help but feel frightened by the thought of making love, or showing affection to a lover. As a person, I am very insecure and self conscious about how I look, so i stopped dating. The way I see it, I want to be perfect and beautiful and confident with myself, mainly my body before I date a guy. Even if he says I am perfect in his eyes, I need to be perfect in mine.
Anyways, This guy is nice and all, but I need to cut it off before it ends badly. Issue is… this mo’fo lives in Charlotte too, so it might be hard to avoid him when I’m out. Welcome, Paranoia.